What a woman!

Today we buried my Grandma. It was the conclusion of an incredible weekend of celebration, memories, tearful hugs, loud laughs, and immeasurable praise to God for giving us Belva Nelson. While she touched many lives throughout her time here, there are only 14 of us who called her Grandma. In fact, she was such a special Grandma, that she spelled it Gramma. In fact, I'll call her that for the rest of this blog. Now I'm not saying she's more special than yours. I hope you love your Grandma! But it was an honor to have her as my Grandma. What a unique opportunity I had to be that close with someone as sold out for God as she was. She was genuinely gracious, constantly encouraging, and the advancement of the gospel of Jesus Christ always trumped preferences and comfort. And if you knew her, you were fortunate enough to know someone who cared more about you than she did about herself. She really did. All the time.

At her funeral yesterday, there were some great things said about Gramma. Not only the things I have written above, but much more. The interesting thing is that it wasn't false praise. It wasn't the somewhat typical "greatest person ever" speech people given at funerals, whether the person was great or awful. And how do I know it wasn't empty praise? Is it because I knew her well? No, it's not that. That opinion would be slanted because I'm her grandson. So why? It's because it was the exact same things people said about her while she was alive. It wasn't new information. It wasn't surprise revelations. Or even hidden family things that no one outside ever knew. It was just the same stuff we had been saying for years. She really did put others first all the time. She lived on very little, but I always got money for my birthday and Christmas. She prayed for every kid, grandkid, great-grandkid, and now great-great-grandkid BY NAME,  EVERY DAY. Plus spouses! We all knew that. She wanted church music to reach younger generations and she let people know it by saying so out loud. She loved her neighbors, her friends, her family. And on and on we go.

Here's the deal...people often talk about, "What do you want said at your funeral?" I do too. It's a good question to really think through. It's definitely challenging. But as I'm sitting here reflecting on this weekend, the bigger question is, "What do people say about you now?" In other words, the first question almost allows us to relax a little and figure life out later. As long as we get it right before we die, we can have a 'Belva Nelson' funeral. That's nonsense. If you're reading this and thinking that way, please stop!!! Change now. Turn the ship around. Or make the few corrections/adjustments you need to make. I've got my list...so what am I waiting for?! And what are you waiting for?! It's not our funeral that matters....it's right now. God has incredible things for you here on this earth, waiting for you. But He needs you to cooperate in every area of your life; even the really hard, hidden, sad areas. Gramma was the absolute perfect picture of a blessed, full, joy-filled life with not a lot of money or personal indulgences or earthly possessions. It was all about Jesus and everyone else... every day, every week, every month, every year.

So how do we do this? Let's look at Gramma for a short list. First off, you have to choose. Gramma chose to be this way. She chose to pray. She chose to give away money. She chose to get sin out of her life because she hated it. Do you think all this just happened? So choose that you will change now, make a plan, and do it! Second, become a learner. The last sermon she ever listened to was one I did a few weeks ago, called "Others First." She listened to it twice. You might think it's because I'm her grandson. But I don't think that's the only reason. Even at almost 97 years old, she wanted to learn more about her best friend Jesus. What did He want her to do? Where could she become more like Him? My goodness, she could have been the sermon. She lived "Others First." But she was still looking and listening for something that she maybe hadn't gotten in the previous 13,500 sermons she had heard (an actual legitimate estimate). She NEVER thought she had it figured out. Do you do this? Do you really think you know everything God knows? I do sometimes. Not really, but I act like it. Or I tune people out because of it. So become a learner. Third, remember that Gramma messed up, but she kept going. She sinned. I know she had victory in many areas that many of us still struggle with. And if we counted each day's sins, her total might have been lower than yours :). But she still sinned! She still messed up. That's why God's grace is so incredible and necessary. As we choose to change and decide to become lifelong learners, we will have setbacks. We will make bad decisions. You will fall down. You will mess up big time. But the question is will you get back up? Will you remember that God's grace covers those falls in the life of the believer? Maybe you need to get back up right now and get going.

Gramma never stopped growing. She didn't have it all figured out and she knew she never would. That's the encouraging thing to me. If you think "I'll never be like her", just start living the last two sentences and you will. I believe many people will make some life-changing decisions after being at the funeral of Belva Nelson. I hope they stick to them and begin to grow.  But then, I hope and pray that when the first hurdle comes, the first pothole, the first big challenge that will appear to derail the decisions they made because of Gramma; when that comes, I hope they don't give up and forget about March 6th, 2011. Instead, I hope they get up and keep going forward. Because that is what really made Gramma who she was. What a woman.